and another...

Yes, i have read somewhere that Marc Nelson is gay and he's into threesome action making the whole gender spectrum shudder in ecstacy. Unfortunately, this doesn't excite me when in fact i do have a libido to nurture.. I don't understand why i feel queasy about sex when this have been proven good and have been enjoyed by billions since the prehistoric times. As a matter of fact, some animals get gnawed from their head down to their thorax by their female partner after doing the deed. So i've been contemplating to some questions trivial and critical in nature as to how the rationale would be accounted for after multiple instances/invitations being ditched for self-proclaimed preservation. To wit here are some: 1. How surreal that i even thought of consummation in the absence of a partner, or is it even possible to sleep with someone and leave the bed with self-respect still intact? But then again, it's justifiable and only right to feel not-right during first times 'cause you're not yet accustomed to it and surely the 2nd or 3rd try will normalize queasiness and unfamiliarity. So this brings me to my 2nd thought. 2. As established, I value self-preservation thus any deed involving exchange of body fluids and explosion of pheromones should be with someone i call mine. This becomes more complex as to who that person may be for all of us cling to personally drafted long-list of qualifications and criteria. You may pepper it as being "picky", but hell you too have your own one way or another. Further inspection of finding a partner in this sad archipelago for a budding tranny is from slim to none lest you share a bank account (not experienced personally but stories from the tran circle) or jumpshift to maya-landia (ugh, this entails exhausting wardrobe sale exhibition) or go abroad (they're more tolerating to the point of accepting) and shower the willing men with tranny dust. With all that's mentioned, i go for the latter but with great uncertainty accounted mainly to economic and demographic challenges.

These thoughts are niggling and options aplenty and I'm teased by time to toss my dice and cross my fingers that i'll get my lucky number for a home run.