Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Join me in the call to all telco companies to have all unli-txt/calls service terminated the soonest possible time. This is to ensure that recipients, aptly, victims of annoying spam texts will remain their sanity and ATP (adenosine triphosphate) from being consumed having to flex each muscle for every message received.

Few years ago, texting someone would mean having to sacrifice a peso from your total credit amount and that reaching out to someone with sweet-nothings mean a lot and is deemed sincere and heart-felt. Culturally, we are fond of keeping in touch with our loved ones -- I remembered my Japanese friend commenting on how we Filipinos love to text each other frequently as possible and this bewildered him a lot. It can also be explained that we as a culture is not comfortable expressing our gratitude/feelings towards someone personally and that texting becomes the closest alternative there is available. Regardless of one's culture, it is without no question that we should be sensitive enough that not all would care that you snore while scratching your hairy balls (excuse me), you eating your favorite pasta, you heading to Colon, you on break from work, yada, yada, yada. Just to let all of you know how annoying it can be to receive constant update from a cretin whom you obviously care less --

1st SMS Sent: July 4, 2009 @ 2:30AM
Message: On my first break! Work is tiring!

2nd SMS Sent: July 4, 2009 @ 2:45AM
Message: Done with my first break! Back to my stressful work! Wish me luck!

3rd SMS Sent: July 4, 2009 @ 4:00AM
Message: Lunch time! How i love jollibee spaghetti!

4th SMS Sent: July 4, 2009 @ 4:30AM
Message: Smoking with officemates!

5th SMS Sent: July 4, 2009 @ 5:00AM
Message: Back to work na pud!

Imagine being constantly bombarded with worthless updates from someone whom you wont even care if he's consumed by his own gastric juices or have cheaply committed suicide jumping off a billboard somewhere.

Just to still behave professionally on this time of great test, i sent a friendly reply:
Reply sent: July 4, 2009 @ 7:00AM
Message: Please be advised that the number you are trying to reach is no longer interested of your messages from this day onwards. Let it be known that you've been added to her blocked-numbers and that future messages coming from your number will be forwarded to the service provider which will be compiled and eventually used against you should it reach the quota of unwanted SMS. Penalties will be served, one of which - you'll be dildoed 'til you pass out. For any questions/clarifications, please reach out to your provider whom i think will also not entertain you anyway.

So to all who have suffered the same, please don't hesitate to use the same reply above. Let's have a collective agreement and cry foul to irresponsible use of unlitxt/call promo.

Friday, May 15, 2009

and another...

Yes, i have read somewhere that Marc Nelson is gay and he's into threesome action making the whole gender spectrum shudder in ecstacy. Unfortunately, this doesn't excite me when in fact i do have a libido to nurture.. I don't understand why i feel queasy about sex when this have been proven good and have been enjoyed by billions since the prehistoric times. As a matter of fact, some animals get gnawed from their head down to their thorax by their female partner after doing the deed. So i've been contemplating to some questions trivial and critical in nature as to how the rationale would be accounted for after multiple instances/invitations being ditched for self-proclaimed preservation. To wit here are some: 1. How surreal that i even thought of consummation in the absence of a partner, or is it even possible to sleep with someone and leave the bed with self-respect still intact? But then again, it's justifiable and only right to feel not-right during first times 'cause you're not yet accustomed to it and surely the 2nd or 3rd try will normalize queasiness and unfamiliarity. So this brings me to my 2nd thought. 2. As established, I value self-preservation thus any deed involving exchange of body fluids and explosion of pheromones should be with someone i call mine. This becomes more complex as to who that person may be for all of us cling to personally drafted long-list of qualifications and criteria. You may pepper it as being "picky", but hell you too have your own one way or another. Further inspection of finding a partner in this sad archipelago for a budding tranny is from slim to none lest you share a bank account (not experienced personally but stories from the tran circle) or jumpshift to maya-landia (ugh, this entails exhausting wardrobe sale exhibition) or go abroad (they're more tolerating to the point of accepting) and shower the willing men with tranny dust. With all that's mentioned, i go for the latter but with great uncertainty accounted mainly to economic and demographic challenges.

These thoughts are niggling and options aplenty and I'm teased by time to toss my dice and cross my fingers that i'll get my lucky number for a home run.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


I spent Friday with my close friend/neighbor/once-a-schoolmate/fellow brilliant bumz Fritzie.

A week before that, she gave me a Stone Spa gift certificate. We thought that the whole therapy will involve heated metamorphic rocks placed along your spine believed to relieve stress and eventually total rejuvenation. Fritzie suggested that it may involve boulder rocks having the script below --

Attendant: Utong sa mam. (Her carrying boulder rocks twice your size and maybe 10 times your weight).
You: O...kk... (and your innards are splattered and immortalized to the spa's columnar foundations).

So off we went still not leaving the thought of boulder rocks crushing us mercilessly. We presented our GCs and we're asked to sign a waiver which states -- "In case you will ultimately meet your demise within the premises of this establishment due to your own clumsiness, the management thereby will make use of your body juice as hilot-oil and all of what remains will be auctioned to the burger stalls nearby". We signed anyway.

They have two major changing quarters separating males/females or to my case he-who-believes-to-be-righfully-female. We were ushered to a warm and faintly-lit room.

We were told to select our own spot (the main platform is divided into five partitions). We chose our spot and the room started to warm up a lil more. This therapy will only ask someone to recline on the hot platform made of hot granite or stone slabs, sweat profusely and rehydrate every five minutes. A major break (given every-after 15 mins) is spent on the changing room where you are served with banaba tea with honey and calamansi allowing your body to cool down. The brochure explained that heating and abruptly cooling your body will allow detox, or the brochure may be wrong, but i indeed felt very well! After cooling down, we were asked to do our 2nd session, this time the room is not warm but hot! This made us nauseous (empty stomach is a no-no for this therapy) and asked the attendant not to continue the therapy anymore lest we'll turn into beef jerky. I took a shower, changed to my clothes and out we went like hungry vultures eyeing any flesh on brink of death.

I noticed that i felt so light inside, my skin is lighter and supple. I dont know what the feeling is. It may be rejuvenation and with that we're doing this at least once-a-month.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


I am surprised that i haven't added any new article for nearly 6 weeks! when you visit other blogs, you will see your blog's hyperlink screaming the line "7 weeks ago". Shame. So now I'm putting an end to that.

Since i learned recently that it's best for visual learners to have a clear thought on stories if bulleted, ergo --

1. My brother is now a proud father. It's weird that i feel obligated to do something to help him. I have work and im not spending for anything major, yet i feel like i don't know where all my earnings went or maybe because i'm not spending for anything major that i can't underscore/ highlight a lump sum of cash leaking out of my account? Dunno.

Now, I'm wondering how my dear brothers will survive and give a decent living to their own family. When I'm home, I know they're waiting for my word or any promise of a constant financial support. Now that's a dilemma. For one, I'm still learning the ropes of financial management which is extremely tedious 'coz I'm the easiest consumer to be swayed by anything that says "sale". I remembered how i barred myself from stepping into Maldita's store for a month after buying a festive-looking dress (tag still attached until now) and not wearing them for fear of being mistaken as German Moreno's lost ladyboy sister.

Anyway i figured something else to help them. I proposed that we'll buy a sow and milk her for all her worth until she'll wave the white flag after providing us 3 or 4 generations of her. I received nothing but silence. So I'll figure something else.

2. My aunt, who lives on the other side of the planet told me that my family needs to flee our house. She called me in the middle of my REM sleep, i helplessly reached for my buzzing phone and all that my mind can process is the word flashflood. I gained full consciousness and learned that they're all safe. She told me how my mom told her how our appliances were salvaged by no other than my super mom.

The following day, i felt that my aunt wants me to do something for them. If I'm Darna then sure. I'll plant my feet on the still floodwater and hurl myself up, amp my velocity and send back the water to where they're supposed to be at - sea. But i know that she wants to say something else and my brain's processing that, but I'm not ready yet. Period.

3. I am getting my Lenovo next month. It's funny how i go inside computer shops studying different specs with ample guidance and advise from fag hag par excellence Ms. Nikka hoe.

4. My current class is on nesting and I'm amazed with their performance. I'm like the mother goose watching my dear goslings apply what i taught them for three weeks. It warms my heart when someone closes a sale, approach me after and share what they just experienced. So cute!

See? this is concise and straightforward :)

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year

It's 09 and what better way to face the new year than being literally flooded with water spilled from the Banica River. Good thing that our house is on an elevated area which spared us from celebrating new year evacuating ourselves saving our dear lives and greet the first morning scooping out mud and throwing away damaged appliances

Neighbor 1. House is 5 meters away from the river. They were preparing for media noche when suddenly they heard a big thud. Alas! their fence collapsed and water started seeping in. Then in a span of few minutes it started rising to more or less a meter. They heard another thud and their kitchen gave in to the pressure of both water and mud hitting the flimsy foundations of their dirty kitchen. They had to flee their house by removing some galvanized iron sheets that nearly trapped them.

Neighbor 2. The mother of my nephew's home. Their house is next to Neighbor 1's house. When the other side of their fence collapsed, water also rushed in to theirs. They have to evacuate everything that's manageable to the second floor. They celebrated their New Year there not with the excitement of seeing skies light up with foreworks but praying that water will start subsiding. My brother needs to brave the flood to save his kid. Yes only his kid. My nephew's bicycle is nowhere to be found and my mom has been jittery about it more than the whole incident. My father harrumphed.

Affected families (more or less 5 from what ive heard) have to celebrate new year scooping dirt and mud out of their houses and resumed new year celebration and media noche on the streets.

Still i say cheers for 09 and a new kitchen and fence to Neighbor 1!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Bad boys place your bet...

"Who are you kidding? me?" This line would best work with a scoff channeled to the indolent kneeling down at your mercy. He would stare at you teary-eyed and teeth gnashing while recalling his prophesized victory go kaput.
You advanced yourself an inch close to where his shadow is casted and throw your cigarette at his general direction and off you go and him reduced to a bag of gray ash.

Ah! Revenge is always sweet! for this is how i really told my gay friend how to get even to a self-serving money-sucking dirty-feet boyfriend. To share a piece of that moment --

Paulie: So kamo pa sa imong bf?

Friend: Yeah, we're still together...(teary-eyed, with matching panghupaw)

Paulie: And what's that sigh mean?

Friend: Well, d ko sure kung kaya nako syang bulagan.

Paulie: Really? (i look empathetic but i just want to strangle him with a piece of nylon and leave him swaying like a pendulum on a neighboring acacia tree).

Friend: Yeah, it's really hard Paulie. I simply can't let go of him.

Paulie: Ok there are a lot of reasons why you simply can't let go, and if you may ill number there in basis of importance --

1. You wont find another better "bone"; since according to your description and statistically based from your random guy-experience, the guy's gifted.

2. He's the only person who has the guts to call you sweetie in a volume audible to the largest mammal.

3. You'll miss buying guy stuff -- new pair of running shoes, sweatpants, jersey's, etc.

4. You'll miss LBC Kwarta Padala, Western Union, and the list goes on.

5. You'll miss being needed.

6. And...

Friend: It's number 5, girl. Mao jud na mao jud na

(to be continued)

the essence of doing this.

For a while, ive been staring at the blinking cursor thinking of what significant ranting this newly-found space deserves. it's been awhile since i lured myself into publicly declaring my thoughts and trajecting all of my emotions to the helpless reader.

Several reasons why i need to blog...
1. It's best to poke some neurons while paying for an hourly internet rate of 20 bucks an hour while hoaning my main agenda -- searching for lovelife. (LOL)
2. Brilliant bums are here. For the past months, i never knew what they're up to. We work on the same island, breathe the same filthy air yet we suck at managing our time in seeing each other.
3. Miscellanea. For some other reasons too petty :)

So i formally welcome myself on board wearing my freakum dress pumping no less than the tranny irony ;)